artsy, n.

An artistic person, esp. one who affects a pretentious or eccentric style and lacks an 'f'.

greenness, a.

The quality or condition of being green, esp. Green Party policies.

step-ladder, n.

Not the biological parent of the ladder.

impregnation

An estate where all females are pregnant, such as Tower Hamlets.

paragliding, n.

Self-fulfilling sport for disabled users.

profess, v.

trans. One who claims to be a female professor.

intent, n.

Purposely going camping.

ecotourist, n.

A tourist who visits areas of ecological interest, esp. to help conservation efforts and observe wildlife; and usually by plane.

self-tanning, a.

Similar in nature to self-flagellating, but with carrots.

code, n.

A bunged up nose.

skank, n.

Musician responsible for horrendous albums, such as Back to Black.

violator

A ravisher or outrager of musical instruments, esp. viols.

conceal, v.

trans. To creep up on a seal for the purpose of culling it, as in Canada

deejaying, n.

The process of removing the dancefloor of birds by judicious use of poor music. See rap, n.

president, n.

The monetary reward received from the Tooth Fairy.

interpole, n.

A citizen of Poland who arrived in the UK to take advantage of better economic prospects, but has now returned home.

dance hall, n.

A large hall or building where public dances are held, esp. the Houses of Parliament.

rap, n.

Descriptive music missing an initial C.

underlay, n.

The missionary position.

revelation

The happiness experienced by gay bishops.

download, v.

To dump on ones office minions.

stud, n.

A man of (reputedly) great sexual potency or accomplishments, yet endowed with only a stud for a penis.

proclaim, v.

To prostitute oneself for an insurance claim.

attire, n.

The clothing worn by obese Americans.

heroine, n.

Female user. Not as in Amy Winehouse.

sirocco, n.

British born hotelier suffering from oppressively hot and blighting wind blowing from the north coast of Africa over the Mediterranean and affecting parts of Southern Europe (where it is also moist and depressing).

quinsy, n.

US TV Show about a medical examiner (coroner) with a husky voice.

analytic, a.

The breakdown of the anus. Used extensively in politics when referring to people talking shit.